Patience

It's December 1st and I've already chosen my 'word' for 2020, something I always like to choose for each new year to represent what I'd like to (try to) embody.

My word for 2020 is patience. I wouldn't be surprised if I've chosen it before.

Patience is something I've admittedly lacked for most of my life. If I'm not where I want to be or if I don't have what I want, an uneasiness bubbles inside of me.

Yet patience teaches us to be still, to be present, and to be content with what is happening in front of us. There's an element of living in the now when we're patient, an element of being okay with what is while we dream our little dreams and work towards them.

I'm a dreamer, it's true, and it's a good thing. It's a powerful thing. When we focus our energy on the things we want to achieve, we're able to take ourselves to bigger and better places. But when we fixate on those things -- seeing them and them only -- we become frustrated. Impatient one might say. The dreams look all too appealing, too good to resist, and seemingly superior to our life right now.

I have human moments just like any other. I want all the things, too:

When I was single, I couldn't wait to have a boyfriend. When I lived at home, I couldn't wait to have my own place. When I lived in the suburbs, I couldn't wait to live downtown someday. When I had debt, I couldn't wait to pay it all off.

And then I got all those things, and now I can't wait for other things like buying a house, getting a dog, getting married or having kids.

Of course though we can wait, and in fact, waiting for our desires to come to fruition at the right time (when we're better prepared, have more savings for a down payment, etc.) makes them 100x more rewarding once we have them.

There's nothing worse than the feeling of rushing in to something, such as a purchase or a decision,  only to feel like it would have been way better to just wait.

If I let myself get caught up in my wants, I feel incredibly dissatisfied with my 'right now'. Yet, my life right now is so rich, so full, so beautiful. Gratitude is an essential component to living a happy life, especially when we remember that there are always going to be things to want, regardless of whether we've achieved our 'dream life' or not.

It's not about complacency, settling, or letting go of the things we want in life. Not at all. It's just about being content with our journeys and enjoying the sightseeing along the way. There's beauty in every inch of the path we're on