22

Today I turned 22 years old. I must say I do feel older. I feel like I'm really in my twenties if you know what I mean. More mature in that respect, although, really I'm no different. Birthdays are funny days. I feel special.

Yesterday my dad took me out to get a few things and it was a successful outing indeed - complete with a delicious salmon dinner. Today I've just had a very simple day that consisted of sleeping in, a smoothie at Booster Juice and a couple hours of yoga. Oh and my new favourite pants from Aritzia. Perfect.

So... last year for my 21st birthday I elaborated on the teachings of the chakras and the cycles of human development we go through. Every 7 years we enter a new base theme, starting with the root up to crown. Within those 7 year cycles, each individual year is comprised of an individual main theme, from root to crown. I am currently in a base theme of the 4th chakra - the Heart chakra - which lasts through ages 22-28 and represents: Unfolding the qualities of the heart, love, compassion, sharing, sincere involvement, selflessness and healing. Within this base theme, we are under what's called a "main theme", so I am now under a new main theme of the Sacral chakra! YAY! (Last year I was under the Root chakra). This main theme denotes: primordial feelings, flowing with life, sensuality, eroticism, creativity, awe and enthusiasm.

I've already sensed that 2-13 was going to be a good year for me. A full year. A warm year. Soft, cuddly, comfortable. Easy, flowy, yet still changing and filled with healing. (But literally, the number 2013 looks warm and comforting. 2012 looks dark, sharp and harsh and was, quite frankly, just that). I feel that my theme for this year fits nicely with how I intuit it to be.

It's actually nice having my birthday at the very beginning of the year, truly makes it feel like a fresh start. I actually know so many people born in January, or at least Capricorns. Most people in my family are born in January and many of my friends are as well.

I'm definitely looking forward to what this year and this new age will bring to me.

2013: A Sacred, Solitary Celebration

Last night for the first time I had the most healing, sacred and solitary New Year ceremony. I cancelled all of  my original plans with friends to sit with myself and celebrate the reining in of 2013 alone. 

I didn't have any particular plans or agenda on exactly how I would carry out this little ritual, but I knew it would include a few of my dearly cherished trinkets: oracle cards to provide me with inspiration and insights for the new year; tingcha bells to clear old energies; my pendulum to guide me; my new 2013 calendar for focus; my yoga mat for grounding; beeswax candles conscientiously placed around my room for cleansing and light, and myself: lotus pose for breathing, a quiet mind for being.

Ten minutes to midnight, I rang the bells above my cards. Shuffling them I asked what it is I need to know for this year... and so it is: purification, meditation.

And so I wrote, notepad and pen in hand:
2 minutes to midnight
2 things I intend

breathe
be.

The clock turned 11:59 and I peered around myself, my little circle of healing, taking in these last few moments of 2012. I always get a bit nervous toward the last moments of the year, there's a feeling of farewell.

I closed my eyes. Clock struck midnight. Without me having to check the time, I breathed in as I heard my mother, her boyfriend and my brother cheer from downstairs. Abruptly and unexpectedly, I wept. I had this overwhelming emotion wash over me of joy or relief I don't quite know, but the awareness of a passing year that was very trying for me quite literally moved me to tears.

Happy New Year, 2013. This is my year for mindfully breathing, being and healing.

Salutations, April

~Budding flower on a branch

It is the first day of April. April reminds me of blue and gray and rain. This morning was splendid and was a picture perfect example of an April morning. Dewey, foggy and misty. Cloudy and mildly cool.

Like every new month, I am eager and excited. I love changing my calendar and I love feeling the newness. I wonder what April will bring me? =)

Simplicity

Me in my dorm room in college, Dec. 4/2009

Journal entries from one year ago:

Simplicity – December 5/2009

I have come to the decision that I am going to simplify my life. I am going to rid myself as much as possible of chaos, complexity and unnecessary items.

I’m going to throw things out. Clean out my drawers; reduce the amount of clutter I own; the amount of clutter I carry around with me every day.

It starts now.

(11:14pm)

Dec. 5/09

I invision my (simple) life to be clearer, quieter and free. No clutter, only essentials and important things that make me happy. My (simple) life will be happy; and full of only things that I like, need, value and appreciate.

Dec. 6/09

I can't wait for simpleness. For perfect organization. For a mind of complete clarity, true happiness, true contentment.

Exactly one year ago today was when my life truly began to change. I had my very first full blown, life-altering epiphany. It's the foundation of what has shaped me into the girl I am today.

It was late in the evening and I was sitting on my floor in my dorm room. I looked around me. And I realized - something I've never realized before - that I didn't need, or want, any of the things that surrounded me. Everything I owned was suddenly completely useless. That little flat screen TV I just had to have for college, all those over-expensive clothes hanging in the closet, too many pairs of shoes sitting by my door, too much crap in my purse, too much, too much, too much! Nearly every single thing I owned no longer meant anything to me. I started clearing out my room. Throwing shit out. Getting rid of things. I remember specifically I had a wallet that my best friend got for me for my birthday which I really wanted, and I stopped using it right then and there. It was too fancy. Too unnecessary. I switched to a tiny little simple wallet that my Nana brought back from Ireland.

I wanted everything to be simple. All I wanted was simplicity. Frugality.

That same night I deleted tons of stupid pop music from my iPod and started downloading tons of ambient, meditation music. And that night I listened to it all. I absorbed every soothing sound and felt the rush of simplicity pour into my life. One of those songs that I still listen to today reminds me totally of those last few weeks in college after my simplicity transformation.

My room was so clean and tidy. I lit candles and enveloped myself in the soft music and clarity of my new mind and environment. 

When I got home after withdrawing and completing the semester, I remember I cleared out just about every single belonging I had in my bedroom. And literally, quite literally, my room had nothing but a few necessary things. I threw out almost all my clothes (I remember my best friend thinking I was crazy and what a waste of money) but it felt so good. All those stupid clothes were gone and replaced with basic attire. Since then I have filled my closet over time with beautiful pieces from different stores (my favourite places to shop are thrift stores) and have truly made my style my own, an expression of how I feel in the inside (and it certainly isn't basic). I love wearing and having things that are meaningful.


Today, simplicity is the foundation of who I am (since then I've experienced zillions of epiphanies that have further defined me). I always sink back into that mindset and remember how important it is to keep things simple. It keeps me clear. In retrospect I kind of think that that clearing-out phase I went through was a result of the break up I was going through. It was me subconsciously clearing my life and starting over on a fresh, clean slate.

This is a painting I made when I was fully submerged in simple living.
Ever since that night, I have not looked at life the same in terms of materialism. And it goes so much deeper than that. I hate it. I think it's so useless and I feel that too many people's lives revolve around things. Too much doing and having and not enough being. Too much noise and nonsense, chaos and busyness. Not enough quiet and thinking. Not enough appreciation. Too much wanting more, more, more. Things, things, things.

Things don't bring fulfillment. And this is something I discovered that night. This is where my journey truly began.

Newness and Reflection

Me, Oct. 2009

It's a new month. It's December.
And with each new month I like to reflect on what I learned in the previous month. I like to do this because I like to really think about my life as I live it, to not live mindlessly. I like to think about what I have learned or discovered in each month that goes by, because I am always learning and growing so much. A lot of us go through our days wondering not only where the time has gone, but sometimes all of a sudden we'll recall something that happened that seems like so long ago. And we forgot to absorb it when we had the chance. I love the word absorb. I'm always absorbing.

So, what did I learn or discover in November? Quite a lot. As I posted before, I realized that I should buy my own food (living at home)! And thus an entirely new lifestyle has taken flight. I'm passionate about nutrition and wellness so I naturally gravitate towards new ways of eating and trying new things, to find out what I like and dislike, and to find out what works for my body. I've shifted towards not only eating 1 billion times healthier, but almost entirely raw - and not only raw, but raw vegan (not raw meat, just fruits, veggies, herbs, nuts and seeds). I'm dipping my feet in the waters of raw veganism and I am liking it a lot. It's a very slow process... getting the hang of what to eat, trying out new fruits and veggies, slowly eliminating the processed stuff.... But I feel so much better. It's like being completely one with nature, as I've noted before. The other day I made a raw veggie wrap, with avocado, onion, garlic and tomatoe all mixed up. And then I spooned it onto a romaine lettuce leaf like a taco and ate about 5 of them. I can't even explain how instantly amazing and energetic I felt. I just had to dance and I had this astonishingly beautiful spiritual experience as I felt the life run through me. I laid down on my floor and laughed and smiled. And I continued about my day in the the best mood ever. The happy mood didn't go away. This is something I've discovered raw food does.

And I think it's the neatest thing ever that I've been experiencing detoxification symptoms (since I've gone from a rather standard western way of eating to an abundance of highly cleansing foods). I love noticing my body ridding itself of toxins! Like this cool runny nose I've had. I don't have a cold or anything, just a runny nose from time to time during the day. Totally cool!

I am fascinated by our bodies and our human existence. How we work and the capabilities we have. We are amazing living things, and it feels great to nurture ourselves with clean nutritious foods that enable us to work at an optimal level in all aspects.

Not only do I like to reflect on what I've learned, but I like to wonder, "What will this new month bring me?"

What did you learn or discover this November?

Brilliant Expression

Today is October. October reminds me of orange and yellow and amber and crisp air and scarves. Each time a new month arrives I am always excited. Excited for newness, for freshness, for the untouched future. And I love changing my calendar. I have been so busy the past couple of weeks that I didn't even know the new month arrived. What will October bring?

I feel as though I am bursting with brilliance and overflowing with creative ideas and dreams. I am yearning for a trip to one of my favourite shops called Odyssey. When I'm in there I am overwhelmed with beautiful curiosity and an intriguing sense of adoration. Books and jewelry and incents and candles and gemstones and Buddha. Psychics and crafties and creation. All I want to do is dive in. Touch and read and discover. When I get paid I'm splurging. (I've never been to a psychic before - I'll go when the time feels right)

I love things. I love knick-knacks and doodlies of all sorts. I love the thrift store. I am by no means an advocate for superficial ideals. I thrive upon allowing yourself to be. To be you. To just absorb who you are and to never strive to be anything otherwise. There is only you.

I feel like I am so young and I can't wait to build up a collection of cherished goods throughout the journey of my life.