alive

Spring is coming. This delights me.

Greenery still awaits and I have yet to see some budding but I know it's around. It's still chilly out there but the sun has made many more appearances these days than it has over the past six months, so, for that I am grateful. It's so warm and satisfying. There is such a magnificent difference between natural sunny sunlight and artificial lighting. These nuances are much more noticeable when you're deprived of one or the other for a lengthy period of time. The only word that comes to my mind to try and describe what sunshine feels like is alive.

I've been a very busy bee lately with renovations I've hardly had time to focus on anything else. My attention span is picky and determined when it's zeroed in on something exciting. You know what I love? Decorating. You know what else I love? The hardware store. Spring is indeed a fine time for re-doing things. It tends to be the time when I gravitate towards simplifying and change. Out with the old, in with the new. You know? Earth is changing, too.

Sunday Scribblings: Drought

A long time ago I was directed to a blog, Sunday Scribblings, that provides writing-prompts. A word to source some inspiration of something to write about. I haven't done it since last year, and seeing as today is Sunday, I thought it be a good day to reunite with it. Today's word is drought.

Naturally I'd like to write a poem, but instead I'm feeling compelled to just write about my thoughts on that word. Drought. It can go many different ways, and my mind's eye is focusing in on metaphors and analogies that surround the concept of going through a period of time in our lives when there is little sustenance; a lack of substance. Those times when we find ourselves amidst a life of "drought". Wishing and waiting for "rain", symbolically representing peace, balance, freedom or an open door; satiety or repletion, or whatever the idea of precipitation means to you, to feed our thirsty hearts.

In this case, I am referring to rain as a representation of redemption, so to speak. Something to long for when we're all dried up. Wherever we are in our lives, whatever path we are on or stage we are at; whether we feel that need for revitalization just as a thirsty, coiled floret... rainfall will always ensue to replenish our withered bones.

Revived

I have been craving the energy of a forest. So I went for a long, serene walk today, and I feel like the reset button has been pushed on me. I feel re-connected again. I've been cooped up far too much these days between my house, winter and work and I feel revived, restored, renewed! I sat on a log and just sponged up the energy from the trees and sticks and birds and the wind especially. Nearly made me cry. When I got home I actually felt high, on life.

Breathe

~Trees outside my bedroom window

I'm longing for the Spring. I want to step outside in the cool breeze and feel the universe around me, the interconnectedness run through every cell in my body. I want warm days with sunshine and long, slow, easy walks. I want the comfort of a light sweater, no icicle-hands and frozen faces. I want eyes gently shut and arms reaching out and up to the sky. A long skirt to flow in the wind atop the cliff by the lake. Peace and a seat on the grass, breathing deeply. I want tears of pure happiness and quiet flowing through my blood. Nonchalance and smiles at the world. Bare feet on the ground and lying down beside a tree. Meditation in the forest, gazing at a flowing river. No rushing home to get warm, no rushing at all. I want misty raindrops on my skin and some thunder out my window. 

Leisurely. Dreamy.

I've been stressed a bit because of work these days. I don't particularly *like* my job and I really struggle to accept that I need to work there for now. And I work so much that all my time is devoted to a place I dislike and people I can't relate to. I'm lacking in areas of my life that bring me the utmost peace, and below zero temperatures accompanied by brown snow and a lack of vitamin D doesn't help. When I do have free time it's only for the rest of the evening and I'm up early again to do it all over. I really don't like this repetitiveness and I can't wait to be in school so I'm surrounded by my passion rather than the opposite.

Though I have been reading a couple books by Eckhart Tolle and I enjoy it a lot. Lots of reminders to focus on the present, to accept it, and to just be here Now. And this is what I have been trying my best to keep my intention on. I have a few days off, I just need to breathe.