curls & barrettes

I must say I've gone astray

where did it all go?

but not all of it

there's a humming in the background

a pebble of patience lies beneath

lost inside the whirling wind

my feathers are plucked

and left behind

a small child picks them up

and it's fascinating

Guess what I discovered two days ago? The barrette. I've been adoring this miraculous invention. Growing up I always disliked my hair and struggled hugely with managing its crazy messiness. My hair is naturally very curly and I always wanted straight, smooth, silky hair like everyone else. I always felt like "why me?"

I've straightened my hair since I was 13 years old and only over the past couple of years have I actually grown to embrace my natural curls. It's been a mixture of gravitating towards living naturally, and becoming too lazy to do anything with it. I used to think there was absolutely no way that I could ever enjoy my curly curls but, I think maturity knocks some sense into us. Why is adolescence so dramatic and horrible?

The barrette isn't just any old clip, people, it's miracle work. It pins my hair back so snugly and doesn't wiggle around and since it clips horizontally instead of vertically, it holds my hair down flat. I'm just really... really excited about this. I've never used a clip as fantastic as this one before. This is a big deal. Pretty much life-changing.

flutterblossom

To my surprise were a plethora of butterflies frolicking about the cherry blossom. I joined the gathering of petals and wings, beneath the umbrella of soft pink blooms.

release

Some flowers I found

I sat silently, cross-legged, upon the green field,

submerged in soft petals of yellow and teal.

Off in the distance a painting of sounds

I was hazily curious as I looked around.

The breeze sang through the hot sun on my skin

and I closed my eyes (just to take it all in).

Fully surrounded by essence and smell

of the pine or the elm or the birch, I can't tell.

Teardrops spilled over as I felt the infusion

fascination so clear it erased my contusions.

To my surprise came epiphanies abound

as I took a deep breath, here's what I found:

to release is to see clear-headed and free;

to surrender the urges to run and to flee.

Spacedust and starlight is of our devise

and each of its fragments come in various size.

Wavelengths of hue and vibrational queue

this brilliance inspires us to begin anew

and as we observe what exists in us here

we unleash the cobwebs of darkness and fear.

Flowers & Boxes

~Flowers in a vase on my dining room table

I remember several years ago, I must have been about 13 or 14 years old, my mom would oftentimes have a vase of flowers on the table. And she would tell me how lovely they smelled, and I'd uninterestedly disagree with her. She'd say, 'You'll appreciate them when you're older'.

Tonight I smelled the flowers on the dining room table. I had to actually sit down and take my time leaning in towards them with my eyes closed because they smelled so pleasant, so inviting, so... lovely. They were beautiful. Well mom, you were right.

I am truly utterly amazed by everything in nature. Nature bears everything. Things that taste good, look good, feel good, sound good and smell good. Nature is so damn good!

Narnia

~A photo I took early this morning

Last night I was walking home from my friends house with two of my friends. It was probably about 1:30am and it had been snowing for several hours. The snow was falling so heavily yet gently, slowly and quietly. It was fluffy and thick and ethereal and magical. I felt like I was walking through a mixture of Narnia and a winter wonderland. We laughed and walked whimsically through curvy paths among tall evergreens and naked willows. I flew my arms outwards as I skipped along the snowy path. Everything was so beautiful and amusing, it felt like I was in a dream of marshmallows and clouds. I was bursting a little bit with gratitude for all of the beauty. Everything was sparkling and I just had to point out the natural sparkles that nature makes! Who needs to go buy plastic sparkles from the dollar store when you've got real ones?

I notice so many things that nature makes that man likes to try and mimic - like swings, and seats. In one of my favourite forests there is a family of twirly, intertwining trees and one of the branches hangs across two trees, exactly like a swing. There is also this little tree that is bent in such a way that it could be used exactly like a chair, or a desk. And of course there are rocks, which are natural benches! My friend and I laugh about this. One time last summer we were walking through a grassy open pathway and there was a big rock atop a hill. And we sat on it. And we called it a natural bench.

Although I am feeling quite ready for springtime, I do love freshly fallen snow...

Natural

I've grown to have a very deep connection with who I am, what I am, nature and the Universe. Some ways I intertwine myself with Life is through meditation, perhaps some yoga, contemplation, daydreaming here and there, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Sometimes I'll paint. Or I'll draw. Or I'll just sit and think. Other times I'll go for a walk, look up at the sky. Gaze at the stars, take it all in. However, over time I have found myself connecting with nature in a more distinct, visible, tangible way.

I used to straighten my hair every day. I used to wear a lot more makeup than I do now. I used to reject and deny my true self. For the longest time I wanted to be able to wear my hair naturally without fearing what other people would think. I used to think there was no way in hell I'd ever be able to live without an application of "beauty" products. Beauty products should be called Insecurity Products. For they distort the way we see ourselves. We define ourselves by what we look like with makeup, how our hair looks. Whether we are good enough, worthy enough. If we look a certain way we'll be accepted. We'll feel safe.

Over the past couple of years I have gradually reduced the amount of makeup I wear. I don't wear anything on my face, just a little bit of mascara. In the past, this would have been unimaginable for me. I also stopped a few months ago, cold turkey, straightening my hair. I wanted to be as close to nature as possible, and that was my biggest personal-incentive. I wanted to be One, as bare as a tree. For in nature, you wouldn't wear makeup or use flat irons.

Nobody should feel they need to rely on beauty products. The beauty industry is making loads of cash, at not only the cost of our wallets, but our self-esteem, self-confidence, and body image. What I found worked for me to withdraw myself from relying on the myriad of self-defeating crap, was to very gradually cut back on using it (excluding when I stopped straightening my hair, that I just stopped.)

And as I have written plenty about before, I also began eating a ton more natural foods from the Earth! Definitely the best way of all to be close to nature, that's for sure!

It's time we see ourselves for what we are! We're amazing and beautiful and no person, group of people, company, advertisement, commercial, billboard or celebrity can make us believe otherwise.

Perfect Day

Today has been such a perfect day for the first day of the new year. It's been mild outside the past few days and today it was raining lightly and everywhere is just dazzled with this beautiful, fairytale-like fog. Needless to say, it was the ultimate perfect day for a walk by the lake.

As I walked towards the lake I noticed 3 flags that were so still. No wind. Stillness. Silence. I closed my umbrella and just allowed the cool drizzle of rain to feed me. And then I cried, because the happiness I feel for this life and this world is so grand. The deep feelings of appreciation I have for the beauty of simple things like rain, fog, trees and air was overwhelming in those few moments.

The Beauty of it all

Today I went for a walk and the beauty of the naked, freshly-shed trees and cool, crisp air nearly made me cry. I. Love. Trees.
Affirmation #117: I have all the answers to the questions I ask. If I quiet my mind and emotions, they appear.

My favourite tree in the world

Aren't these trees funky? They look like a group of 3
friends dancing about.

Insouciance

One of my favourite things about my mom is her lack of concern about her appearance. For some reason she has recently had these pieces of hair on the side of her head that are really short (I've been telling her it must be hormones; otherwise she ripped some hair out with a hair elastic somehow). This morning we laughed at the ridiculousness of these short pieces of hair flinging outward from her head. I love this about her. Not that she's unbothered about everything, but her "what can ya do" attitude toward things like appearance has had a very positive impact on how I think about things sometimes. 

A reminder to not take things so seriously all the time, hm? ;)