Crisp Air & Twirling Forward

The sky this evening

The glow from the pink sky illuminates everything it touches and it's brilliant every time I stand below it, within it, become it. I am elated at the thought of autumn and the crisp air these days feels so good. I can even smell the season changing, I can sense it in all ways and I can feel change happening within me! Although I'm currently in a puzzle because I can't seem to grasp each fleeting, perpetuating moment as they float further into the future. In six days I will begin devouring my studies in holistic nutrition; academia in which I have been only dreaming about thus far. Dreaming and reaching and anticipating and it has been such a lengthy, lingering wait that my whole life for the past twenty months seems that of a blur. The growth, blooming and transforming I have done in that time has been wholesome and jubilant for me and I am oh but curious to find out how my life will unfold when I have a whole new kind of routine in place.

Although I have expanded spiritually and discovered many things I have also found myself with too much time on my hands for too long now; it has drained me on the days where I am not feeling so inspired but it has changed me on the days when I do. So, I will no longer be plagued with boredom at work or otherwise, a situation and environment for me that has lasted too long, for my primary focus and purpose will be that of passion, excitement, eager learning and an array of tangible kinships. 

And yet it all seems unreal to me right now. Because, you see, life feels like a dream for me these days. I can't decipher whether or not it is due to the fact that so much has manifested for me or because I have been dreadfully overwhelmed with mental to-do lists or because I need to eat more kale. Either way, I'm sure when I begin settling into my "new lifestyle" of finally pursuing passions I'll be able to feel more grounded. Who knows, you know? I sure don't.

All I know is that September is here and it means a lot more than just school -- it means my darling boots and fun scarves and rusty fallen leaves and cool breezes and fresher air and the harmony between feeling chilly and comfortable. It means birthing out of some sort of encapsulated Universe I have lived in for a long time, however amazing or changing it has been, it is still nonetheless time for some tactile moving and twirling forward...

Braces Off!!

I GOT MY BRACES OFF TODAY!
It has been a long wait, I can tell ya that.
I had braces for 2.5 years and I can't even really use words to describe how lovely this feels. But I suppose if I must use words, I'd say that it's like jumping from a cloud onto a rainbow and then sliding down it into a warm lake filled with bubbles.
My teeth feel so smooth and beautiful! I got a retainer too and I chose a cloud pattern with a butterfly on it, he he he. Isn't that creative? Oh it's pouring outside all of a sudden.

The actual procedure to remove the braces was... pretty uncomfortable, to say the least. Removing the individual brackets actually hurt a bit (everyone I've talked to has repeatedly told me it's painless) I guess I have sensitive teeth. The worst part though, however, was the dreaded cement/glue-remover tool. Oh god. The feeling is identical to scratching your fingernails on a chalkboard, except it's on your teeth. I actually thought I might have thrown up just because of how nauseating the feeling and sound was. It felt like my teeth were being carved off. I had to tell her it was making me nauseous because I was beginning to feel really sick from it. After that she just polished them up with a nice smooth tool and it was ok.

I don't really know what else to say about this wonderful experience. I'd say I kind of went through a lot having these braces. I had a baby canine tooth that needed to be pulled out in order for the permanent tooth (which was lodged up in the roof of my mouth somewhere) to come down. So for more than a year I had no canine tooth on my left side, and then I got surgery done where they cut open the roof of my mouth to attach a bracket to the lost tooth. For about 10 months it was being yanked down, which was pretty painful. Not to mention all of this happened when I was away at college and stuff. So it made it a bit worse the fact that I was a bit older having braces. It's definitely all worth it though!

My teeth weren't that bad though to begin with. But today was surely a long awaited day! I'm so happy :) If there's one thing I learned from having braces, it's patience.

Goodbye Year 2010

It's New Years Eve! It's the end of 2010! The end of an immensely life-changing and mind-altering year for me! I feel like I need to do a tribute to this amazing wonderful beautiful year.

I'm so excited for what 2011 has to bring, as well as each and every year ahead.

Gosh, I just can't believe how much I've grown, changed and learned this year. The amount is enormous. My birthday is also a little over a week away and I am being very present in trying to live my last days of this wonderful age. I cannot even put enough attention on how fast time is going by!

I know so much will continue to change in the forthcoming years. So much to be learned, so much to gain and so much to lose, so much to grow from, so many achievements and challenges ahead - so many achievements and challenges behind me.

Regardless of what life has to bring, it's all awesome.

Newness and Reflection

Me, Oct. 2009

It's a new month. It's December.
And with each new month I like to reflect on what I learned in the previous month. I like to do this because I like to really think about my life as I live it, to not live mindlessly. I like to think about what I have learned or discovered in each month that goes by, because I am always learning and growing so much. A lot of us go through our days wondering not only where the time has gone, but sometimes all of a sudden we'll recall something that happened that seems like so long ago. And we forgot to absorb it when we had the chance. I love the word absorb. I'm always absorbing.

So, what did I learn or discover in November? Quite a lot. As I posted before, I realized that I should buy my own food (living at home)! And thus an entirely new lifestyle has taken flight. I'm passionate about nutrition and wellness so I naturally gravitate towards new ways of eating and trying new things, to find out what I like and dislike, and to find out what works for my body. I've shifted towards not only eating 1 billion times healthier, but almost entirely raw - and not only raw, but raw vegan (not raw meat, just fruits, veggies, herbs, nuts and seeds). I'm dipping my feet in the waters of raw veganism and I am liking it a lot. It's a very slow process... getting the hang of what to eat, trying out new fruits and veggies, slowly eliminating the processed stuff.... But I feel so much better. It's like being completely one with nature, as I've noted before. The other day I made a raw veggie wrap, with avocado, onion, garlic and tomatoe all mixed up. And then I spooned it onto a romaine lettuce leaf like a taco and ate about 5 of them. I can't even explain how instantly amazing and energetic I felt. I just had to dance and I had this astonishingly beautiful spiritual experience as I felt the life run through me. I laid down on my floor and laughed and smiled. And I continued about my day in the the best mood ever. The happy mood didn't go away. This is something I've discovered raw food does.

And I think it's the neatest thing ever that I've been experiencing detoxification symptoms (since I've gone from a rather standard western way of eating to an abundance of highly cleansing foods). I love noticing my body ridding itself of toxins! Like this cool runny nose I've had. I don't have a cold or anything, just a runny nose from time to time during the day. Totally cool!

I am fascinated by our bodies and our human existence. How we work and the capabilities we have. We are amazing living things, and it feels great to nurture ourselves with clean nutritious foods that enable us to work at an optimal level in all aspects.

Not only do I like to reflect on what I've learned, but I like to wonder, "What will this new month bring me?"

What did you learn or discover this November?

Time is a Slippery Fish

It's already September and most of my friends are movin back to school for their second year in University. The summer went by so fast, in fact, time has gone by so fast since last September. It's already been one year since I moved into my lonely bachelor apartment. And then moved into residence in October. And then dropped out in December. It literally seems like a few months ago that I was in college, but it was almost an entire year ago! I can't recall time ever seeming to go by so fast when I was younger.

This whole time-going-by-so-fast thing really makes me think about how much I want to absorb everything that is happening every day! Soon enough I'm gonna be in my seventies and I'll wonder where the time went. I talked to my nana about this today. She said to me "20 is so young. Even 30... 40...50...60... Nah, I suppose there are people older than me" (a woman in her seventies trying to feel as young as she can, he he he). She looked as though she could remember so clearly the days when she was my age.

I always think about the things that I want to tell to my child(ren). All of the things I did when I was young, all my experiences. I think about what I am doing at this age and I imagine telling them all my stories.

For the next year I need to work every waking hour to pay off the money I owe from college, and then finally pursue my goals and dreams next fall! I really can't wait. I don't have any regrets about withdrawing from the program I was in. I've had so much time this year to think about what I want to do, things I want to achieve, places I want to go, dreams I want to live. I am so incredibly ambitious. So many things I want to do right now not next year! Oh well, the time will come and all the anticipation will make it well worth it.

I'm just going to continue living life to the fullest and capturing every ounce of my youth.