Wonder

Today was just one of those mornings. One of those wonderful, wonderland mornings. Outside, a land, a place full of wonderful things. I awoke dazzled by the snowflakes dancing outside my window and without hesitation threw on my warm winter coat and meandered through Narnia.

Last night my mom asked to speak with me. Inspired, she elaborated on her newest musings on the topic of presence. Living in the moment. That ever-elusive concept in today's world of really being here, of embodying the Now. Myself being someone who has always struggled with attention and being distracted easily, I think about today's technologically-driven world. I think about the distractions so potent around us and the lack of focus, mindfulness and awareness as a result. 

As she  spoke so eloquently, I sat. I felt my presence deepen as I listened and remembered the value you receive when you are fully and wholeheartedly present.

She began telling me about a poem of people who lived their lives constantly waiting for the future, always waiting for happiness once this happens, after that happens. And then they're dying. I think about how I have been living my life lately in this way, so consumed by the future. Goals, plans, dreams, visions, excitements - it's all wondrous and perfect but it's important not to let them take you away from the beauty of life now. I remember that part of my journey that I somewhat lost touch with; how it feels to truly be in the moment, to genuinely see the beauty around, to be fully fascinated by the wonders of what already is. Today on my magical snowy walk, it is this that I embraced. 

When I sense my life passing before me, I know it's time to slow down. I've made a post on this before and I will again, but I find it particularly life-changing to wake up early, preferably with the sunrise. Days feel fuller, longer, slower.

Time for me to bring out some Eckhart Tolle. Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about. It's all about the Power of Now.

On another note, after I returned home from my walk in a winter wonderland I made a giant, delicious, wholesome smoothie consisting of 2 bananas, frozen peaches, mangoes, strawberries and raspberries, vanilla almond milk, hemp, wheatgrass and spinach. Delight!

I will leave you with one of my favourite quotes from The Power of Now:

"Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now."

Cars & Pendants

If you were to ask me my thoughts on public transit, I'd tell you I really don't like it. I do enjoy train rides though.

I am a rather typical urban girl in terms of transportation. Getting my license was my first and foremost priority upon my 16th birthday. I have always had a thing for driving... I love it. So it has been very exciting as I got my very first car at the end of August. Exciting indeed! My life seems to have gotten busier and busier and getting my own vehicle has been necessary. It'll be handy until I'm ready to travel!

The first thing that came to my mind after getting my car was designing a chakra pendant for the rear-view mirror. I've had a vision of it since day one and so materialized that vision this afternoon at my local bead/gemstone shop.

I've made a beaded necklace before and quite enjoy the process of jewelry-making. Today I quietly sat, stringing beads and gems onto a wire. Focusing on absolutely nothing else but the preciseness of it all. That is, I find, the very best part about being totally enveloped in something. It's like when I draw or paint - I am in complete and utter focus on nothing but the world I am in.

Stillness

This moment.
Flowing without resistance.

Lost self,
but in silence I realize I AM always here.
Inwards & within resides the essence of WHO I AM.
All else dissipates, disintegrates, evaporates;
darkness disappears with light shone upon it.

And there I am. Patiently waiting.
Unshakable. Impenetrably still.

A Goddess lives inside.
Unaffected, unconditioned
she waits.

The pushing and pulling;
energies distributed unevenly but,
affected is the external I
unaffected is the internal

Soul soars in silence.

thoughts and observations on a sunny afternoon

The breeze blowing through my hair, through the trees, through blades of grass, through anything that will move to and fro, wax and wane, ebb and flow
last season leaves and twigs gently roll
bright orange petals
colourful efflorescence
a bird flies overhead faster than sound
birds chirping up in the rafters, up in the trees,
above my head they dance
to my left a group of noisy birds playing on branches
so close I can hear the flutter of their wings
illuminates the stillness
a crow in the distance
the sun beating on my skin
the sky is the bluest shade of blue
silence breaks with the heavy gust of wind, sound of rushing air
as it passes silence ensues

I'm at peace
I'm One
I can feel the inter-connectedness
I feel whole
I feel connected
I feel light
the tall pines remind me of northern winters
and the bare elms remind me it's only the beginning of blooming
I like all the colours that nature bears - they're crisp, real, pure
I have all those colours within me for I am nature
just a fragment of the cosmos
I love how it feels when the wind blows around me
I feel engulfed, embraced, entranced
I feel welcome and included
Just another form of energy not created nor destroyed
only transformed
always eternal though I don't know how

I feel... comfortable.

peaceful.

I like sitting on the grass
I feel all the elements around me -
ether, air, fire, water, earth
it makes so much sense but not really at all
the earth beneath me, the moist soil, the fiery sun sparkling
the gusting wind and everything of existence occupying the space that surrounds me, my physical body, between my organs and cells and atoms is this silent space of nothingness.
I can feel the eternal essence
perpetual existence, transcending the illusion of time
for time is nothing
and now is what there is
with all its entities, sounds, smells, cosmic fragments of this reality. One of many. Infinite realities. Infinite dimensions.
Finite comprehension but infinite possibilities.

I feel infinite right now.
I love this sun on me, I feel like how I should
wondering quietly, what is wind? how did the universe originate?
is originate even the appropriate word?
I lay down on my back gazing upwards
two birds soar steadily high up above, parallel to eachother, beneath the blue
a mourning dove calls, pleasant describes this.

The earth is moving too fast
rooftops cloaking the sun
I don't want to lose these rays
they're fueling my satiety

A squirrel appears on the fence; abrupt, agile
talking its talk
closest I've been
I can see it so clear my idea of them was different
I can see the details of its fur
looks like a rat
It looks at me
Is it going to attack me?
I release the fear and observe instead

Deep, deep, deep breath in
smells like fresh air
a stretch
and an exhale
slow deep breaths of cool zephyr
healing my body
relaxing my mind
soothing my soul
renewing my spirit

release

Some flowers I found

I sat silently, cross-legged, upon the green field,

submerged in soft petals of yellow and teal.

Off in the distance a painting of sounds

I was hazily curious as I looked around.

The breeze sang through the hot sun on my skin

and I closed my eyes (just to take it all in).

Fully surrounded by essence and smell

of the pine or the elm or the birch, I can't tell.

Teardrops spilled over as I felt the infusion

fascination so clear it erased my contusions.

To my surprise came epiphanies abound

as I took a deep breath, here's what I found:

to release is to see clear-headed and free;

to surrender the urges to run and to flee.

Spacedust and starlight is of our devise

and each of its fragments come in various size.

Wavelengths of hue and vibrational queue

this brilliance inspires us to begin anew

and as we observe what exists in us here

we unleash the cobwebs of darkness and fear.

incomprehensibly enormous infinity of nothingness

Looking out my window

So the other night my mind transcended into a new dimension as I was sitting on the edge of my bed, gazing out my window up to the sky, past the trees, at a big puff of condensation passing by overhead.

I was originally singing at the top of my lungs and swaying along to Elton John and Alanis Morissette until I found myself simply drifting away. I sat and stared for quite some time. Contemplated as I watched the leaves on the trees blow swiftly. And then I went outside and stood on my driveway looking very peculiarly up at the dusty blueness of sky and wispy wafts of white wind. I do believe a man saw me and I can imagine he was curious about what I was staring at so intently.

An airplane flew through the clouds and then I thought,

"What are we, what is this? Where are we? What the hell is life?" Typical ponderings.

There I was. On my driveway. Or not at all, in fact. In the cosmos I floated along, quite simply seeing beyond this thing we call "sky" and into the incomprehensibly enormous infinity of nothingness, for that is all everything seems to be, is nothing.

It's About Where You Are

Today I just walked right out my front door
picked up a few dandelion fluffs along the way
smelled the flowers so to speak
felt the sunshine
noticed the sounds
heard the birds
slowed down
let go
and remembered that it isn't about where you're going
it's about where you are.

Right Here, Right Now

I am reading another book by Eckhart Tolle called The Power of Now and I just need to quote a line that totally heightened my consciousness/awareness the other night:


'Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the now.'


For a very long time now I have already been practicing having a conscious awareness towards the present moment. But that line from the book really made my awareness sky rocket. As of the moment I finished reading that line, I have been incredibly aware of the Now, more than usual. It is not the easiest thing to remain in the present consistently. It certainly takes time and practice and a lot of self-reminding. But when you're in the midst of a fully grasped moment, when you're truly feeling your body and soul in the very moment that always is and always will be right now, it's beyond words.

There is something so beautiful and freeing about Being. Just Being. It's as simple as looking around you and noticing where you are, how you feel, observing - but not judging - your thoughts, feeling the energy field inside of you. It's marvelous. I can definitely feel how it is becoming more natural and automatic for me to bring myself back into the Now and into a true state of Being.

Feels good.

Slow Down and Be Patient

Trees in my backyard. A reminder of patience.

I picked my mom up from the train station today and after the train pulled in I noticed nearly everybody running and rushing and hurrying out. I kept thinking to myself, everybody is running, everybody is in a hurry. I wanted to step outside of my car and shout at them to relax, slow down. I knew they were running to their cars to get ahead of the traffic that would soon build up, but all I could think of was, just slow down for a minute. I wanted everybody to hear me and just stop. Just stop everything they were doing for a moment. And then carry on slowly.

I thought about how their work days are lived. Rushed, stressed, hectic, busy, mindless. I think about how I don't want to live like that.

I am practicing patience. I'm generally a pretty impatient person - I get it from my dad. And I know that I do not want to house that trait. I told my mom to remind me each time I'm being impatient, to be patient. This morning on my way to work I had only a few minutes left to get there and there was traffic bumper to bumper. I could feel a sensation of impatience creeping up inside of me, but I combated it by simply reminding myself that getting worked up over it would not make the cars move any faster. And you know what? The cars seemed to move a lot faster.

Nighttime Creativity

I find myself the most creative at night, when I'm alone floppin around my room getting ready for bed. Doodling, journaling, thinking. I tend to put forth most of my effort with painting and drawing during the day; but nighttime is surely a time for sole creativity.

Sometimes it's a bit frustrating, in a lighthearted way, because my mind will become overloaded with ideas and inspirations and thoughts and my ambitious self seems to surface; and I can't help but wonder why must I be so creative when I'm getting ready for sleep?? All the wonderful things I come up with would be nice first thing in the morning, but mornings are rather the opposite of creative.

This creative quality time I spend with myself is one of my favourite times. It allows me to catch all my thoughts of the day and put my mind in order. To calm my inner self down, to be free minded, free spirited, to just be. I think sometimes - perhaps most of the time - during the day we lose ourselves. We lose ourselves in the busyness, the outer world. Nighttime is the perfect time to reclaim ourselves back to our inner world.

Even in the midst of everyday busyness, I am still able to catch myself here and there and tune in to what is really going on around me.

Yoga, Meditation and How it All Works

I did some lovely yoga today.

Not very long ago I didn't totally understand how yoga really worked or how to achieve that wonderful state of mind they always talk about. But recently I had a realization or an epiphany of some sort where I suddenly understood how it all works. Basically, yoga boils down to meditation which boils down to mindfulness.

Mindfulness, not in the sense of just plain ol' being mindful of your actions, but as in being completely and totally and thoroughly aware of any given moment - completely tuned in to how your body feels. So essentially this is what meditation is, and yoga is just meditation with movement. I was so excited when I understood this because I had been longing for some beautiful meditative sessions where I actually felt that inner peacefulness without getting restless or let down. It's all so simple now. Mindfulness.

When it comes to the breathing, the poses and breathing go hand in hand; and it should come naturally - when you breathe in, you should naturally feel the urge to raise your arms and stretch or bend forward and feel your spine. When you breathe out you should naturally feel the urge to lower your arms or whichever movement you feel is right for you in that moment. Lovely lovely lovely.