Floral Wonderland

A caressing of leaves

like a quiet clapping of hands

and a halt as the rushing breeze curtails.

The sun beams downward

forcing freckles of light to
appear on stones

shed warmth on my skin

the left of my brow

skin thirsty for light

mind hungry for a relinquishing of troubles

a re-weaving of undone peace

knotted threads

a quest for serenity

if only for a moment.

A monarch butterfly of amber and black
flaps it delicate wings above

small purple flower buds that

bubble toward the sun

reaching as high as they can

like arms of a toddler

asking to be held.

Plump bumblebees with a flower addiction

next to white puffs
cone-shaped florets

long skinny whiskers

and tiny green fingers.

Heart-shaped pancakes expose their flat faces

beside bright yellow blooms

with dark bristled centres

and an agile fly on top.

And there I see it

the fairest of them all

a tall slender firework popsicle

with unborn children dancing below.

Oh, but the baby daisies are just as sweet

as their sunny centres burst brightly

between twenty white petals

as if to say

I'm not a weed!

Spider-like legs splay outward on the tops
of the violet corn-on-the-cobs

next to sad-looking echinacea imposters

and branches with no hope

of ever being as beautiful as the 

honey bee and orange bug

sucking pollen out of the lilac puffs.

It's obvious the dragonflies are having the time of their lives

and that the puny orange hummingbird-wasps are pretty happy too

as they should be

living their simple, purposeful lives

a present moment dwelling

with no past or future

besides the death that awaits

a shrivelling of crispy red leaves

a slow fall to the ground

before blooming brightly again

in this floral wonderland.

Three Daffodils

I saw three daffodils
a whimsical web of raindrops
a canopy sewn together by curly branches
and drowsy green leaves

Little green buds below my feet
like stepping on sweet peas

A trickling of water
rolling down tree trunks.

Bird Therapy

Sunflower seeds and chickadees

soft rolling waves and a chilly breeze

the beaming sun and tall birch trees

I'll take another day like today, please.

______

Today was what I like to call a slow Sunday. After cucumber wine until the early hours the night before, I got up, washed my face, threw on my new sandy grey speckled knit, and drove home to the sounds of one of my favourite bands Needtobreathe. I swear I can never get enough of their songs.

After tidying my bedroom, sorting through paperwork, changing my fish bowl and watering my plants, I stepped outside for a mid-afternoon waterfront walk. It was so refreshing; the kind I've needed for a while. And I suppose it has been a while: winter is long, after all, and sunny days like today aren't easy to come by.

The air was cool but the sun was perfectly warm, and I fed some chickadees right from the palm of my hand. This, my friends, is something I must do more often. Like a bird therapy; a featherlight heartbeat lands on your hand, clasping its tiny claws onto your fingers, just for a moment, to snatch a sunflower seed or half a peanut.

Connecting to the world around us, the real, real world with real creatures and things that live alongside us, is so healing: trees, buds, sprouts, swans, all of it. It's therapy.

Adorned

__

The air is sweet

and the sun is warm

green leaves

peach blooms

and branches adorned

There's a warmth sweeping softly

through the breeze

and the only things around me are

birdsongs and trees

A look to the left

the sun sets in the sky

above me is amber

as leaves start to die

The sky is pale blue

the clouds grey and cream

how happy I am

this isn't a dream.

__

Saturday Stroll

It has taken me almost two years to go for a walk in my neighbourhood. When I lived by the lake, I would go for walks on my own regularly. I would think and dream, and feel the breezes waterside. I was introspective back then, deeply introspective, though I was a pretty lost girl I'd say.

Then I moved. And I sort of hibernated in my new space for a time: I just hadn't that inclination to stroll the streets and smell the air and look up at the trees. My backyard, mind you, is a glorious oasis of many a flower and foliage.

Today however I went for a walk. It's an uncomfortable feeling of exposure: here I am, world, I'm coming out for a walk. I had to somewhat force myself to put my shoes on.

The air was chilly, but the sun made it mild. It was windy, and bright, and everything was alive. I walked passed the most bloomed tree I've seen, exploding with pink bursts, showering them on the grass below. I swept past white picket fences, small homes from 50 years ago lining the sidewalk-less streets, and oak trees as tall as the sky.

It was lovely and liberating.

lessons & reflection

Happy July :-) I love the change of a new month. It's the perfect time for new beginnings and to reflect on what was learned the previous month. Sharing, patience and taking a break are three themes that weaved through the month of June for me. 

I feel as though when we share we actually receive so much. When we put forth abundance, we attract abundance in return. Not even materialistically speaking, but at a soul level; an inner level. Giving and sharing from the heart feels good. So I shared a bunch in June. 

Patience crossed my path toward the end of the month. He's a darling friend and I admire those who naturally embody the cool, calm and collected. There were a handful of instances in which the Universe instructed me to wait. It's not time yet. It will come. It will manifest. Breathe. Be patient. Impatience erupts anger within me but I've been able to feel the fiery sensation for what it is, and let it pass. I know which shadows of mine are hiding beneath and stubbornly avoiding the light. It will come. It will come.

Taking a break. Oh yes, yes. Now this is a deep lesson, a freeing one, a good one. It has been the epitome of relief and release and revive. I'm still in it, I'm still cross legged, head tilted back, breathing in the warmth of the still and idle sunshine. My week spent up north in a fairy tale changed me. When it comes to words there is a void, so I've just sat in the hollowness and felt instead for feelings are the language of the Universe, after all. Regardless, my time away was healing and what I needed so perfectly. The freedom of expression, the authenticity, the slow, the calm, the breathing, the letting go. It is all so divinely etched into my being.

I'm settling into the freedom of my need for a break and time away. I have much to ponder and I'm allowing the change and transition to take its time. I am listening, listening, listening to the gentle nudges of my spirit and soul and attentively, trustingly stepping in their direction.

P.S. Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadians.

perfect

The sweet smell of a mild, dewy, tree-infused breeze; softly swaying, waving. Springtime moss and blossoms. Birdsongs between silence.

It smells so sweet and it's perfect. perfect. perfect. Life is perfect. Everything is perfect. Everything.

Trees and twigs and wind and dewdrops and the messy, raw, tactile, intimate connection we have with NATURE lends to us pure, pure, pure wisdom. Lessons. Messages. Notes. Ideas to ponder. Rumination. Contemplation. Inspiration. The forest is our classroom, life is our canvas. What do you see? What have you learned today?

found

Found Self,

magic erupts with a peaceful mind

heart ever-expanding

ever-lasting knowing...

fear escapes, inhabiting a new world

love is found within and

freedom downpours

bound by the sky

a limitless flight.

I've been so indecisive. I've thought I've known the answer, and then I have no idea. It's the realness that frightens me yet all she is, is freedom. Abundant offerings are found along the path of Truth.

I guess throughout the winter I did lose track of parts of me. A readily influenced, timid chameleon. All the busyness has left me dazed and docile. Fear has been holding hands tightly with Ego and one foot in front of the other they lead except, their destination is a foreign land.

The trees whisper clarity and paint me with answers. The stillness is freeing and the frozen winter is literally a frozen standstill.

A found self is reclaimed amidst peace. Peace is found in silence. Silence is found in stillness. Stillness is found in  us.

Wisdom lies beneath

and he's terribly patient.

Living, Doing, Now

The early morning is, in my humble opinion, the best time of day. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I have enveloped myself in early morning bliss.

I’ve gotten frustrated. For too long I’ve neglected the parts of me that need nourishment through that which brings me joy (this includes waking up with the sunrise, meditating and going for early morning nature walks). I work late most of the time and as a result end up staying up late, sleeping in later, and feeling as though my life is passing before my eyes because I’ve struggled to find that balance.

Lately I’ve been so inspired and driven to carry out all of the things I have wanted to be doing. The things I wish I was doing. And that’s the thing; so often we think ahead to the non-existent future where there lies all sorts of colourful, perfect visualizations of our life.

Look closely at the present moment you are constructing, it should look like the future you are dreaming. -Alice Walker

And that’s it. How else can we live the life we desire if we aren’t doing it already?

I got up this morning at 6 o’clock and did everything I’ve been yearning to do. So many emotions surfaced. Such an incredible surge of pure, pure, pure joy. I sat quietly on my yoga mat, next to a candle. Infused myself with centered~ness. I stretched. I opened my window and breathed in the influx of penetratingly crisp, sweet air. I stepped outside for a walk and immediately felt energized with indescribable bliss. The morning, you see, is the most beautiful time of day. The beaming sunrise dazzles everything. And the dew! Oh the dew. The air smells so much sweeter within that early dampness.

The best part of all about waking up early is the broadening of your entire day. You see more, experience more, feel more. It’s life-changing.

Impermanence & Other Things

After being inside all day today, I stepped outside into the magestical world. It was quite literally like entering a new realm. The air was chilly but pure magic, and the sky – oh the sky! I've been noticing lately how the clouds during the fall seem much thicker, wilder, deeper, fuller. I have an affinity for clouds. In fact, my name in India, Megha, means just that – clouds.

There have been many things on my mind lately, inspirational words of wisdom downloaded into my consciousness. Or just quotes and other things that I've come across.

One thing was yesterday while I was journaling and reading through some of my diary entries; things I wrote about fears, anxieties and other such emotions that always feel so horrendous and hopeless at the time. And I sat there on my bed, recalling the experiences, but thinking to myself how everything changes. I remember a quote from many moons ago that read: However good or bad a situation is, it will change. Truth.

I've come to really grasp that, especially if I’m ever in any sort of pit or pickle where the only thing my mind can muster up is “will this ever get better?” Why, yes, Meghan, it certainly will. Nothing stays the same, not for a moment. Recognize impermanence. 

Nature, Serenity & Simple Things

First of all, happy 25th birthday to my older brother, Adam!

I went to my very favourite forest/conservation area this evening with my younger brother. Originally to trek through some trails, but found ourselves climbing trees instead. The weather and early October landscape has been breathtaking these days. Fall, being my favourite season, brings me tremendous joy. I feel so much peace from the breezes, the colours, the indescribable essence of it all.

I’ve been wanting to express my feelings of gratitude for simple things such as this. For it is oh but the little things that bring us joy and  lasting fulfillment. The temporary means of fulfillment that material possessions provide is  pathetic in comparison.

I was jolted with a deep sense of serenity when I looked in the distance at the colourful trees. I cannot explain it fully, but in essence, I felt as though the troubles found in this artificial world we live in were meaningless. Being in nature reminds us of what we are, who we are, where we are. Shifts our perspective, shifts our focus.

Cool breezes; foggy, misty afternoons; sunrises; rustling leaves; overcast days in the fall. A few things that I am ever-grateful for and that never cease to bring me complete and utter joy.

Today’s affirmation:

I am free, even in the midst of limitation within the illusions of life.

Autumn e s q u e

today.

Happy September! I went for a stroll by the lake this afternoon with my brother. All around me were the teasings of fall. Red & orange hued leaves are beginning to rest on the Earth's floor. Not quite yet, but very soon, I'll be enveloped in my very favourite season. I cannot put into words enough just how much I resonate with the fall. I'm not a sweltering-heat summer girl nor am I a fan of the blistering cold winters. I like the in-betweens. The breezes and enchantment of release in the autumn~time and the birth & blossom of the spring. I could express myself poetically for eternity about how such a time of year makes me feel. I cannot wait for the landscape of fall to really paint itself in the coming weeks, it is then that I will write with such wonder and awe.

Today's affirmation:

I trust my inner wisdom. I trust the information that I receive from my deeper resources and intuition.

tick tock

Busy has been the essence of my daily life and a break is calling my name. Silence and space to breathe for a moment, paint a picture, do nothing. I'm patient, but I'm restless. Any day now. I can practically hear the ticking of the clock; the countdown to open~ness where my newest journey awaits.

Journey upon journey upon journey I'm finding myself sweeping glossy strokes of colourful paint across the canvas that is my life.

But in the midst of it all, what's really nice, you see, is taking a time out to let the sunbeams rest upon your skin; through the trees, against the breeze.

thoughts and observations on a sunny afternoon

The breeze blowing through my hair, through the trees, through blades of grass, through anything that will move to and fro, wax and wane, ebb and flow
last season leaves and twigs gently roll
bright orange petals
colourful efflorescence
a bird flies overhead faster than sound
birds chirping up in the rafters, up in the trees,
above my head they dance
to my left a group of noisy birds playing on branches
so close I can hear the flutter of their wings
illuminates the stillness
a crow in the distance
the sun beating on my skin
the sky is the bluest shade of blue
silence breaks with the heavy gust of wind, sound of rushing air
as it passes silence ensues

I'm at peace
I'm One
I can feel the inter-connectedness
I feel whole
I feel connected
I feel light
the tall pines remind me of northern winters
and the bare elms remind me it's only the beginning of blooming
I like all the colours that nature bears - they're crisp, real, pure
I have all those colours within me for I am nature
just a fragment of the cosmos
I love how it feels when the wind blows around me
I feel engulfed, embraced, entranced
I feel welcome and included
Just another form of energy not created nor destroyed
only transformed
always eternal though I don't know how

I feel... comfortable.

peaceful.

I like sitting on the grass
I feel all the elements around me -
ether, air, fire, water, earth
it makes so much sense but not really at all
the earth beneath me, the moist soil, the fiery sun sparkling
the gusting wind and everything of existence occupying the space that surrounds me, my physical body, between my organs and cells and atoms is this silent space of nothingness.
I can feel the eternal essence
perpetual existence, transcending the illusion of time
for time is nothing
and now is what there is
with all its entities, sounds, smells, cosmic fragments of this reality. One of many. Infinite realities. Infinite dimensions.
Finite comprehension but infinite possibilities.

I feel infinite right now.
I love this sun on me, I feel like how I should
wondering quietly, what is wind? how did the universe originate?
is originate even the appropriate word?
I lay down on my back gazing upwards
two birds soar steadily high up above, parallel to eachother, beneath the blue
a mourning dove calls, pleasant describes this.

The earth is moving too fast
rooftops cloaking the sun
I don't want to lose these rays
they're fueling my satiety

A squirrel appears on the fence; abrupt, agile
talking its talk
closest I've been
I can see it so clear my idea of them was different
I can see the details of its fur
looks like a rat
It looks at me
Is it going to attack me?
I release the fear and observe instead

Deep, deep, deep breath in
smells like fresh air
a stretch
and an exhale
slow deep breaths of cool zephyr
healing my body
relaxing my mind
soothing my soul
renewing my spirit

release

Some flowers I found

I sat silently, cross-legged, upon the green field,

submerged in soft petals of yellow and teal.

Off in the distance a painting of sounds

I was hazily curious as I looked around.

The breeze sang through the hot sun on my skin

and I closed my eyes (just to take it all in).

Fully surrounded by essence and smell

of the pine or the elm or the birch, I can't tell.

Teardrops spilled over as I felt the infusion

fascination so clear it erased my contusions.

To my surprise came epiphanies abound

as I took a deep breath, here's what I found:

to release is to see clear-headed and free;

to surrender the urges to run and to flee.

Spacedust and starlight is of our devise

and each of its fragments come in various size.

Wavelengths of hue and vibrational queue

this brilliance inspires us to begin anew

and as we observe what exists in us here

we unleash the cobwebs of darkness and fear.

storybook sunrise

Just after 7 o'clock I woke up to a peculiar sunrise. Shades of blue, purple, pink and yellow painted the sky to the east; a stormy gray to the north. I wanted to climb out my window and melt into the picturesque scenery. My mind felt as sharp as a clear water stream as I breathed in the few short flickers of beaming, beautiful sun that was cloaked behind the wildly swaying trees. The wind has been reckless all night and the sound of it made the break of day even more mystical.

I felt like I was in a storybook. I sat and contemplated the strength of trees; how they fluidly blow about in adaptation to their circumstances, without complaint, without judgement. I admire this concept.

You know I'm feeling whole when my life is a poem.

Sunshine

Sunshine on a branch

Today is a beautiful, sunny, mild, breezy day. I went outside and sat by the pines behind my house. I feel like I haven't felt the sun on my skin in months.

For the past few weeks I have been seeing the numbers 1 and 2 repeatedly. Mostly 11, 22 or 1 and 2 together. Mostly on the clock or anything digital. Not sure why I am continuously being presented with these numbers...

1111111111.

11/11/11 at 11:11am ~

California Trekking ~

~Burney Falls

Happy September! Goodness, this month will deliver me many divine things, oh I can just feel it... September reminds me of the colour maroon.

I just returned home the other night from practically lucid dreaming through Northern California. The trip for me had much meaning... not only because being amongst mountains was one of my biggest dreams, but the foundation of the adventure I went on was based on stepping into the unknown. Exploring myself, my independence, desires, dreams and leaping far off the edge into unknowingness. I became something new because of it, of that I'm sure, however I don't know what though I do know how. Personal growth and mind-expansion, horizon-stretching, life-living, holding hands with fear and a whole lot of laughing along the way. So, to you, (you know who you are) I don't think I can really adequately express my gratitude for enabling such an experience to take place in both of our lives.

And so the spontaneous, rather impromptu journey began with an incredible drive up to the mountains of Mount Shasta; hiking, camping, driving and more driving along through all sorts of breathtaking scenery, forest, lakes and waterfalls, twirling roads up to the Pacific ocean and more road-tripping down the coast to San Francisco. Here I am now, landed back in my homespace like a bump on a log wishing I was back at the beginning of it all. The trip really reinforced in me just how badly I desire to travel.

incomprehensibly enormous infinity of nothingness

Looking out my window

So the other night my mind transcended into a new dimension as I was sitting on the edge of my bed, gazing out my window up to the sky, past the trees, at a big puff of condensation passing by overhead.

I was originally singing at the top of my lungs and swaying along to Elton John and Alanis Morissette until I found myself simply drifting away. I sat and stared for quite some time. Contemplated as I watched the leaves on the trees blow swiftly. And then I went outside and stood on my driveway looking very peculiarly up at the dusty blueness of sky and wispy wafts of white wind. I do believe a man saw me and I can imagine he was curious about what I was staring at so intently.

An airplane flew through the clouds and then I thought,

"What are we, what is this? Where are we? What the hell is life?" Typical ponderings.

There I was. On my driveway. Or not at all, in fact. In the cosmos I floated along, quite simply seeing beyond this thing we call "sky" and into the incomprehensibly enormous infinity of nothingness, for that is all everything seems to be, is nothing.