these days

I saw the bleeding red sunrise this morning

and it infused in me

pure

joy.

Mostly these days I feel an indifference sweeping through me
an irritable, restless, negative energy
I feel like I could sleep for days
as my yesterdays 12 hour sleep told me
Raw food surely brings a high
but wasn't long before I slipped back to low
I feel in similar equivalence to the abnormal melting of snow
Is this what they call wintertime blues?

Twenty One

Birthday girl, Jan 10/2012

Today I turned 21 years old. Feels youthfully ripe, seasoned and sophisticated. I am calmly and pleasantly awaiting what will fall into place for me this year. I feel like each year is bursting with blank pages for new stories of opportunities, experiences and lessons. Even since my last birthday, I have evolved so much.

Today I am just very grateful and thankful for all of the birthday wishes I have received.

It feels as though I am and have been entering a new era. And according to the teachings in my chakra handbook, I have indeed entered a new "theme". We have 7 main chakras and in my book it says that, essentially, we go through cycles of human development and every 7 years beginning from birth we enter a new base theme, starting with root up to crown (and you always view your age as one year ahead, so as to count our time in the womb). Within those 7 year cycles, each individual year is comprised of an individual main theme, from root to crown.

This is somewhat complicated to explain (as you really need to view the chart) but my main point is that I have just completed a 7 year cycle (began when I was 15 years old... and had done two 7 year cycles before that: from age 1-7 then a new cycle from 8-14). The cycle I just completed pertains to the qualities of the solar plexus chakra (third chakra... third cycle). This solar plexus 7-year base theme symbolizes "unfolding ones' personality; assimilation of feelings and experiences; shaping one's being; influence and power; strength and abundance and wisdom growing out of experience". Within that main theme, I just completed the last part of the cycle, the crown chakra, which denotes "enlightenment through inner contemplation; unity with the omnipresent being and universal consciousness". These themes are unbelievably accurate to how my life has developed over the past several years. Especially the aspect of inner contemplation, unity and the general shaping of my being.

So this new year that I have been entering is the 4th cycle in my life, the base theme of the heart chakra which denotes "unfolding the qualities of the heart; love, compassion, sharing, sincere involvement, selflessness, devotion and healing". Within that general 7-year theme, since I am in my first year of this brand new theme, this year I am back at the base - the root chakra. This fundamental theme denotes "primordial life energy and trust; relationship to the earth and the material world; stability and power to achieve". This primordial motif feels very akin to how I have been sensing myself becoming more grounded again since I have flown into the wild airs of spirituality. I have definitely found myself seeking some ground, with new feet... ;-) Though next year this inner motif will be under the (second) sacral chakra, and so on. My next new (fifth) cycle starts when I am 29.

I find it so fitting how I am now in the theme of the heart - compassion, love and selflessness - for this is precisely what my life has been preparing for over the past 6 weeks. As I have just taken a trip into the depths of my soul, unveiling and healing negative thought patterns, beliefs, attitudes and underlying emotions, it is compassion and love that has been my most predominant goal. I kid you not. I find it very neat that it is that theme that I have been inevitably entering and will be cultivating over the next several years...

Some interesting points from my book on this subject of human development cycles:

• A change takes place on a material level every seven years ... It is a biological fact that our bodies renew themselves every seven years (all our bodies cells have been replaced by new ones - biologically speaking, we are an entirely new person). 
• After seven cycles we have reached the middle of our lives (age 49) and have completed an entire cycle. A completely new stage of life begins with our 50th birthday ... a chance to start all over again but this time from a "higher octave" of development.
• In ages past, the number 7 was used to denote completion, abundance and (spiritual) perfection. Many cultures regard it as a sacred number
• And P.S., 7 is my favourite number (mysteriously, though, because I don't really know why - there's just something about this number that I am drawn to)

Sunshine

Sunshine on a branch

Today is a beautiful, sunny, mild, breezy day. I went outside and sat by the pines behind my house. I feel like I haven't felt the sun on my skin in months.

For the past few weeks I have been seeing the numbers 1 and 2 repeatedly. Mostly 11, 22 or 1 and 2 together. Mostly on the clock or anything digital. Not sure why I am continuously being presented with these numbers...

Hibernation & Introspection

So here I am I suppose, below zero temperatures that leave me at my laziest. Minus ten today and I can feel myself preparing for hibernation. This is the first year where I'm really viewing the winter season as a time to hide, contract and vegetate. I really don't have much of an interest for this season, only when the snow falls fresh and all is enchanted. I enthusiastically decided last week that I will make a snowman this year. I guess the only best part about winter is snowstorms, though once my birthday passes all becomes rigid and messy and last week I got ice-wind burn on my cheeks when I walked to the store.

My favourite food right now is soft boiled carrots. I just ate an entire bowl of about five of them. Thick soups, rice and tea is all I want these days and it really is befitting for how a human would respond to such weather. I just want to curl up in a ball of fleece and flannel and read a book. It really isn't natural to be living in this part of the world I'm sure, for we'd die if it weren't for these houses. I want to live in a mild geographic location with more forest and mountains and bodies of water. Now how did I get on the topic of urbanization...? I despise it so, and I just recalled now a dream I had last night of a dear nature conservancy in my town that got demolished for a sports recreation center. What? I think I woke up really angry.

I am on holidays for one more week and I am just finishing up my last introspective piece for my Psychology of Disease class, an energy medicine course. Man this has been a very deep journey and I am just rounding up the finishing edges on what chakras of mine are imbalanced, why and what corresponding organs are being affected. So the journey continues - on to more healing!

2012 ~

A windy, rainy walk by the lake this afternoon~

Happy January!  First day of the brand new 2012th year. It feels magic. I know, I know, it is just another day born of the continuous cycle of day and night (and there are so many different kinds of calendars), but, nonetheless, January actually feels spellbound by mystical magicalness like fog and mist and snow and the deep hue of sapphire. Also this is the month of my birthday. I have exciting things to discuss about that topic, at a later date.

So last year on January 1st of 2011, I went for a walk by the lake. And I will never forget it because it was probably one of the most (or the number one most) breathtakingly mesmerizing walks of my life. The air was still, no sensation whatsoever of a blowing breeze; there was a thick misty fog all around because of the unusually mild temperature. There was a gentle sprinkling mist, and I took my umbrella down. As I approached the lake I actually cried. Yes. Simply because I could not contain the absolute joy and peace I was feeling, emotionally and energetically upon experiencing such beauty in the natural world. I blogged about this experience here.

I have been awaiting this new year day to seek out that same experience, with the same mild humidity and mist. I went for a walk by the lake today, and although it was beautiful as always, it was also pouring and windy and the icicle raindrops were soaking me from head to toe. Let's just say it wasn't exactly as mesmerizing as last year ;-)

I am so excited about this new year. New possibilities and experiences and stories and more flowing along this river of life. My affirmation for this year is trust and my theme is compassion.

Right after midnight last night I ran outside. And stood there. Yeah. That's right. It was awesome.