Sunday, May 1, 2016
The past few days have been such beautiful days. I'm not only referring to the bright sun, the singing birds, the soft rain, or the sound of the wind; but emotionally - I am free.
I'm finally, finally free.
For over two years I put the voice of my spirit on hold. I literally hushed it silent. I kept any of its words to a minimum, prohibited to speak up. And if this doesn't make sense, what I mean is, I consciously told the parts of me that knew the place I was at and the relationship I was in that was wrong, was just fine. I told myself that my fears, concerns, and doubts were petty, insignificant, unimportant, and certainly not worthy of ruining my time spent trying desperately to live a life that was as backwards and upside down as anything I've ever known.
I can say to myself that I should have done something sooner, but everything that was placed in my lap up until this point, right here, right now, is everything I needed in order to grow, and to learn, and to become who I am now and who I'll be in the future. I wouldn't know what I know now if I hadn't treaded through the waters that I did.
And today I feel the heavy cloud held above my head slowly fading away. The weight of it all is gone.
The weight of everything I held inside that ate me alive slowly, slowly.