Freedom

The past few days have been such beautiful days. I'm not only referring to the bright sun, the singing birds, the soft rain, or the sound of the wind; but emotionally - I am free.

I'm finally, finally free.

For over two years I put the voice of my spirit on hold. I literally hushed it silent. I kept any of its words to a minimum, prohibited to speak up. And if this doesn't make sense, what I mean is, I consciously told the parts of me that knew the place I was at and the relationship I was in that was wrong, was just fine. I told myself that my fears, concerns, and doubts were petty, insignificant, unimportant, and certainly not worthy of ruining my time spent trying desperately to live a life that was as backwards and upside down as anything I've ever known.

I can say to myself that I should have done something sooner, but everything that was placed in my lap up until this point, right here, right now, is everything I needed in order to grow, and to learn, and to become who I am now and who I'll be in the future. I wouldn't know what I know now if I hadn't treaded through the waters that I did.

And today I feel the heavy cloud held above my head slowly fading away. The weight of it all is gone.

The weight of everything I held inside that ate me alive slowly, slowly.

I'm free.