Sunday, December 5, 2010


Me in my dorm room in college, Dec. 4/2009

Journal entries from one year ago:

Simplicity – December 5/2009
I have come to the decision that I am going to simplify my life. I am going to rid myself as much as possible of chaos, complexity and unnecessary items.
I’m going to throw things out. Clean out my drawers; reduce the amount of clutter I own; the amount of clutter I carry around with me every day.
It starts now.

Dec. 5/09
I invision my (simple) life to be clearer, quieter and free. No clutter, only essentials and important things that make me happy. My (simple) life will be happy; and full of only things that I like, need, value and appreciate.

Dec. 6/09
I can't wait for simpleness. For perfect organization. For a mind of complete clarity, true happiness, true contentment.

Exactly one year ago today was when my life truly began to change. I had my very first full blown, life-altering epiphany. It's the foundation of what has shaped me into the girl I am today.

It was late in the evening and I was sitting on my floor in my dorm room. I looked around me. And I realized - something I've never realized before - that I didn't need, or want, any of the things that surrounded me. Everything I owned was suddenly completely useless. That little flat screen TV I just had to have for college, all those over-expensive clothes hanging in the closet, too many pairs of shoes sitting by my door, too much crap in my purse, too much, too much, too much! Nearly every single thing I owned no longer meant anything to me. I started clearing out my room. Throwing shit out. Getting rid of things. I remember specifically I had a wallet that my best friend got for me for my birthday which I really wanted, and I stopped using it right then and there. It was too fancy. Too unnecessary. I switched to a tiny little simple wallet that my Nana brought back from Ireland.

I wanted everything to be simple. All I wanted was simplicity. Frugality.

That same night I deleted tons of stupid pop music from my iPod and started downloading tons of ambient, meditation music. And that night I listened to it all. I absorbed every soothing sound and felt the rush of simplicity pour into my life. One of those songs that I still listen to today reminds me totally of those last few weeks in college after my simplicity transformation.
My room was so clean and tidy. I lit candles and enveloped myself in the soft music and clarity of my new mind and environment. 

When I got home after withdrawing and completing the semester, I remember I cleared out just about every single belonging I had in my bedroom. And literally, quite literally, my room had nothing but a few necessary things. I threw out almost all my clothes (I remember my best friend thinking I was crazy and what a waste of money) but it felt so good. All those stupid clothes were gone and replaced with basic attire. Since then I have filled my closet over time with beautiful pieces from different stores (my favourite places to shop are thrift stores) and have truly made my style my own, an expression of how I feel in the inside (and it certainly isn't basic). I love wearing and having things that are meaningful.

Today, simplicity is the foundation of who I am (since then I've experienced zillions of epiphanies that have further defined me). I always sink back into that mindset and remember how important it is to keep things simple. It keeps me clear. In retrospect I kind of think that that clearing-out phase I went through was a result of the break up I was going through. It was me subconsciously clearing my life and starting over on a fresh, clean slate.

This is a painting I made when I was fully submerged in simple living.
Ever since that night, I have not looked at life the same in terms of materialism. And it goes so much deeper than that. I hate it. I think it's so useless and I feel that too many people's lives revolve around things. Too much doing and having and not enough being. Too much noise and nonsense, chaos and busyness. Not enough quiet and thinking. Not enough appreciation. Too much wanting more, more, more. Things, things, things.

Things don't bring fulfillment. And this is something I discovered that night. This is where my journey truly began.

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