Monday, September 5, 2016

Healing: An Update

a walk through Evergreen Brickworks

So perhaps I haven't quite fulfilled my own challenge I set out for myself: to write on here each day for one month. That's okay, though, some days are simply what they are, and for me, they're either this or they're that.

Most recently they are abundant with healing. Overflowing, boiling over, like a pot of potatoes.

Right now, my priority is to heal. Body, heart, and mind. Quite literally, though, I've been dealing with a distressing amount of physical imbalances over the past six months in the way of a terrible bout of, or what they call flare up, of irritable bowel syndrome. Which, in and of itself, is highly frustrating, confusing, and terrifying to say the least. Mostly because although post-infectious IBS is something I've been faced with since my horrific case of clostridium difficile gastroenteritis four years ago, I've not once experienced a flare up quite like this, for quite this long, and without hardly any solutions. My only solace is either refraining from consuming any food at all, or excluding a wide number of food items including all grains, all dairy, all legumes, and all complex carbohydrates. Which perhaps sounds daunting to some, but to be honest, I'm quite enjoying this process of nourishing my body and healing the lining of my gastrointestinal tract. Which is more or less damaged, irritated, and inflamed, no doubt. More on all this later, however, because it's truly a lengthy story.

My heart is a whole other realm of healing as well. After a very deeply painful break up, I'm on my own doing wonderful things, feeling good and feeling well, but still my heart is sewing itself up, day by day, thread by thread. I'm always stronger each time the moon rises, and I know I've not much further to go before my heart is a perfect slate, soft and silky, open and willing and ready for what it's handed. Truthfully though, I'm in no place to give my heart to anybody, but I do know the Universe will lead me right where I need to be.

As for my mind, aren't we all in need of healing the stories we create? The fears we have, if only from time to time? I am confident in where I'm at in my life; I'm happy, I'm at peace; I have plans and dreams and good, good things are around me. But I still fear, and I still worry. The best thing about it though is that I'm becoming quite the maven at really looking at those fears, seeing them for what they are, feeling the sometimes immense discomfort associated with them, and then letting them go.

My life is sweet and I'm grateful for that, and that is all I can do right now.

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